Our VaginismusMD Forum Moderator, Heather, started a thread on “20 Tips for Future Patients.” So far we have received 10 tips from our veteran patients. All of these tips are worthwhile and are very important for our future patients. I want to thank all of you who have contributed to this list. We still would love 10 more tips, so please visit the VaginismusMD Forum on this topic.
I would like to take this opportunity to share with you the first 10 of 20 Tips for Future Patients!
I think a fun thread that we can keep building on is coming up with “20 Tips for Future Patients” together. Every single post by every single member of this Forum is exceptional and so valuable to others. I would love to develop this all together and can’t wait to see what we can come up with.
- Replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. You WILL be successful with this procedure, with dilating, with achieving intercourse, and with OVERCOMING vaginismus!
- Be patient, this is a long process but you CAN do it.
- TRUST IN GOD – with God all things are possible!!!
- Trust that Dr. Pacik and his staff really do know what they are doing and want nothing more than for you to succeed!
- Don’t Meditate on the Little Disappointments. Deep hurt doesn’t just come from huge disappointments, like when we fail to get the job or promotion we really wanted. Deep emotional hurt can come from a series of minor
annoyances and frustrations.That’s why we must know how to handle the small, daily disappointments and keep them in perspective. When you focus on something continually, it’s called meditation. The little frustrations that come up every day are annoying on their own, but when they pile up, it almost seems impossible to meditate on anything else. But instead of concentrating on your problems and getting discouraged, focus on God and meditate on His promises for you. Life might get you down, but you don’t have to stay down. God is ready, willing and able to pick you up. When disappointment weighs on you, you can either let it press you down, or you can use it as a stepping-stone to better things. Choose to face disappointment at its onset by meditating on God’s ways. He has better things for you, and He will help you defeat disappointment. Prayer Starter: God, like Psalm 119:15 says, I will meditate on Your Word, not the little disappointments that try to press me down. Life can be discouraging, but Your Word is so encouraging, I know I can overcome the discouragement by looking to You! - Know that the road may be long and tortuous with unexpected bumps along the way. Keep dilating and keep the faith. You have made a quantum leap and any long journey take times and patience, but the rewards are great.
- Take advantage and utilize the Forum! Words can’t express how much I have benefitted from the love, support, advice and sharing from so many women on this Forum. All these years of suffering in silence; too afraid and humiliated to talk to anyone about what I was going through. But this Forum has given all of us a voice. We aren’t alone anymore! We can share our ups and downs. To me, this has been a huge part of my road to healing!
- INCLUDE and TRUST your husband or partner in the entire process. Begin with open communication before your treatment about what you are feeling, your fears, anxiety and what you desire for your life after treatment. Secondly, if at at possible,
have the treatment with your husband or partner present so he can learn about vaginismus and the treatment process. Thirdly, include your husband or partner in your recovery, especially in your daily dilation. Lastly, continue with the open communication after your treatment about what you are feeling, your fears, anxiety and what you desire for your life now that Botox treatment is now completed. REMEMBER that your husband or partner is also affected by vaginismus and this part of his life has also been on hold and wants nothing more than to be there for you and to help you and to love you. - Think about branching out. Allow yourself to experiment with all the wondrous gifts of sexuality we have been given. Once the dilation is under control and once intercourse is comfortable and second nature think about alternatives. Visit a “toy store” together and have fun. Think “dress up” (and dress down!). Think water: showers (as one recent patient volunteered think what you can do with a detachable shower head), baths, hot tubs. Connect with music, wine, soft lighting. Connect with dance. Connect with crazy fun things to do. It all sets the stage for fun and variety. Let’s keep this thread going, it’s fun and educational.
- Celebrate even the small steps for one day you may look back and realize they were really the big things and extremely important in your journey to overcome vaginismus. I am a firm believer that celebrating these small steps helps to make the journey that much easier!
As soon as we receive the final 10 of 20 Tips for Future Patients, we will post them as an additional Part II blog. Again, thank you and please do visit our VaginismusMD Forum website for the topic “20 Tips for Future Patients.”
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