Many of our patients who suffer from vaginismus suffer in silence. Most do not share their problems with this condition with anyone – not even their family members. I have always felt that sharing their story would help set them free and that they would then have the support and understanding that they need. I have often recommended to my patients that they buy my book “When Sex Seems Impossible . . . “ and give it to their family member and tell them “This is me. Please read this book and you will understand.”
We recently had a woman that was thinking of traveling to New Hampshire from Europe for the Botox Treatment for Vaginismus. She did confide in her brother, as she needed his help in coming to the states. Unfortunately, he could not understand this condition and felt that she should be able to work this out by herself. No matter how hard she tried, he could not understand. She then wrote to Heather, our moderator of the VaginismusMD Forum, for advice. Heather wrote the following and has asked that we post this on our website for other women who may be in a similar situation.
It is our hope that this article will be printed out and given to their family member(s) as a first step in the understanding of vaginismus and the effect that this condition has on a woman suffering from vaginismus.
I am writing to you to describe the condition of vaginismus and my own personal story in overcoming it. I suffered from primary vaginismus for my entire relationship/marriage and was cured last year within 1 week of having Dr. Pacik’s procedure. What is so difficult to understand for family members of women with vaginismus is just how hard it is to discuss openly. I have never been able to tell any of my family members even after being cured and I applaud your daughter for her bravery in doing just that. Here is my own personal story in overcoming vaginismus:
I am currently 35 years old and happily married to a wonderful man. We’ve been together for 12 years total, including 6 years of marriage this coming October. For 11 years of our relationship, we were unable to have intercourse as I suffered from primary vaginismus. I was unable to tolerate any form of penetration (even a q-tip) due to the excruciating pain that it caused. I visited a gynecologist in 2008 and was diagnosed with vulvodynia / vaginismus. Thereafter, I tried several different treatments, including pelvic floor physical therapy and trying to insert dilators on my own while completing the work book from vaginismus.com. Both of these methods failed to work as I couldn’t relax enough to insert anything and, again, felt a significant amount of pain and burning sensation whenever I would try. This was incredibly frustrating for both my husband and I to experience. Furthermore, throughout the many years that I suffered with vaginismus, my husband and I told no one except the one gynecologist and one physical therapist that I visited. Not even our closest family members and friends knew any of what we were experiencing. Thereafter, in May of 2011, my husband and I were researching vaginismus and found the website of Dr. Peter Pacik who was located in the state of NH. We thoroughly read his book and knew that we had finally found a doctor that both understood the condition of vaginismus and truly cared so much about his patients. We ended up meeting Dr. Pacik and I received his treatment in 2011. Within 1 week of this, my husband and I were able to have pain-free intercourse for the first time and it was truly the most memorable date of our lives. Since this time, I have never experienced any pain at all with any form of insertion (i.e. while using dilators, with gynecological exams and tests, and with intercourse). My own personal story is a testament to how I overcame my 11 year struggle with severe female sexual pain in the form of vaginismus. I whole-heartedly know that if I hadn’t received this treatment, I would continue to suffer from vaginismus today. Since being cured, my husband and I have experienced one of the best years of our lives and marriage and we couldn’t be happier.
In closing, I want to reiterate to you how important this procedure was for me. I suffered for so many years of my life in silence with vaginismus and your daughter has suffered as well as it is such a difficult thing to discuss. I am entirely confident that this procedure is the only thing that could’ve ever cured my vaginismus and now we have a truly wonderful life and marriage free of this horrible condition.”
In addition to my own story, I would love to share with you a second story from another one of Dr. Pacik’s treated patients:
“My name is (name withheld). I’m 28 years old and have been married for 3 years. I have had vaginismus as long as I can remember. Since this isn’t something that you like to talk about I struggled with this for so long in silence. I thought there were truly something wrong with me and that I was never going to be able to have intercourse. I went to OBGYN’s who didn’t know what the problem was, who then referred me to a sex therapy and the doctor kept trying to convince me that something must have happened to me because it isn’t usual. I never went back to her because I knew that there was something wrong. I then got sent to physical therapy with biofeedback. This helped just while I was in the office and as soon as I left I still was unable to do anything different than before. When I switched to my current OBGYN, he had heard about vaginismus, and said we would work with dilation, I still felt like I was going nowhere because I was unable to even insert a dilator.
That’s when my husband and I started doing research online and found a website about Botox for vaginismus. After reading it over and over again I felt like this could be my last try for success. So I sent an email and received all my paperwork through email. I was so excited I sent it right back and within 10 minutes, Dr. Pacik himself called. I was amazed and he made me feel so comfortable and normal, I realized I was not the only one with this problem and that he could cure me. We decided to go through with it and schedule this procedure with Dr. Pacik. We flew from Memphis, TN to NH.
The day of my procedure was Dec 12, 2011, I was nervous for it but I relaxed once I met all the staff and the comfort they gave me. When I came back from the procedure with the biggest dilator in, I was in complete shock, I was normal and it can happen :) the next day when we came in we worked on dilating and learning about our bodies. On day 8 after my procedure my husband and I finally were able to have intercourse. That was something that I never thought I could do. I, of course, am sticking to the dilating schedule that was given to me but being able to have intercourse has changed my life and my relationship with my husband. I am so thankful that I took the chance and went and did this procedure because without it I would still be sitting in silence and feeling alone. I now can scream from the rooftop that I am cured and it was all thanks to Dr. Pacik and his staff. If anyone has anything they want to ask me about the procedure or the aftermath please do not hesitate to ask, I am definitely here to help anyone. :)”
Finally, I would love to share the personal testimony from a family member of one of Dr. Pacik’s treated patients:
“This is not my success story but that of my niece. I will not get into her back story. She is a member of this forum and that is hers to tell if she chooses. I want to tell you about what I witnessed. My niece diagnosed herself, found Dr. Pacik and set up this procedure on her own.
Her mother, her boyfriend, her brother and I went to NH with her. Her brother stayed at the hotel while the rest of us accompanied her to Dr. Pacik’s office. He encouraged us to be in the room with her during the procedure. She said that was what she wanted so we scrubbed up and went in, sitting at a discreet angle, of course. I won’t get into detail but what I saw that day affected me deeply. It was a very intense experience and up until that point I did not know the full magnitude of what she was dealing with. She was tough and came through it like a rock star and her boyfriend was truly stellar in his support of her. She is having great success now and is happy as she can be. This experience has changed me profoundly and all I want to do is help encourage others who are considering this procedure or are perhaps hesitant.
Dr. Pacik is a truly warm individual who really cares about his patients. During the procedure he turned to us periodically to explain what he was doing and why and he kept us all very involved in my niece’s treatment. He will put you at ease immediately and put your fears to rest. Everyone at his office was wonderful and supportive and went out of their way to make us all feel involved and secure. This procedure has given my niece the opportunity to become a mother in the future. Who knows what her future would have been without this treatment? I encourage everyone who has been through this or has witnessed a family member go through this to start writing those letters! Write to The Doctors, and Dr Phil and Dr Oz and whomever else you can think of that can get this message out. All this money and research and time has been spent working on men’s sexual issues, it is time to focus on the ladies! Thank you, Dr. Pacik, for giving my niece her confidence back!”
Please know that we are all here in support of your daughter and her journey in overcoming vaginismus.
If you have any questions about our Botox treatment for vaginismus and progressive dilation under anesthesia, please contact us via our contact us form.