My Personal Experience with Vaginismus

As told by Nancy in a post on a vaginismus forum May 2011

Permission was given to post Nancy’s entry in its entirety to help other women understand the treatment of vaginismus.

“Hello everyone,

Brief history:

Got married at 24. Age now: 31+ . I will be 32 in 5 months. Had never had sex or used tampons before marriage

Became a member of this website around 4 years ago. Ordered dilators. Had progressed to D3 and using tampons . . . but it was not easy . . . sex was impossible . . . it was like there is a wall . . . I anticipated pain and I think that was causing my muscles to clench. I thought PC muscles were the culprit and kept doing kegels. But, consistency was an issue. It was difficult to be consistent with dilation and it was not becoming easier.


Found about Dr. Pacik from one of the posts in this forum. Contacted him around 6 months ago. Finally made an appointment for May 2, 2011. It is a 3 day trip and I was able to achieve penetration on night of Day 2. Still seems too good to be true. Since then, have done it 4 more times. I think I need to do it at least 10 to 15 times more before I can believe it. The best part is that it is totally painless. I had never imagined that painless sex is possible. But it is.. believe me. If it is possible, please make an appointment and go there. Even if you have transitioned and you’re having pain while intercourse, the treatment will help you significantly. It did help me with my dilation (had never had intercourse before).

Summary of treatment:

Day 1Around 7:20 AM, check in to the clinic. Extremely nice people at the clinic.. very sympathetic and positive environment.. around 9 AM, treatment under general anesthesia. My husband was there with me in the surgery room. Dr. Pacik did an exam and it seems the entry muscle spasm was the culprit and not the PC muscles!! Botox was injected in the entry muscle to stop the spasm. However it becomes effective only after 3 days or so. They also apply some local anesthesia in that area. Then they insert a blue dilator (which is the biggest one) and then wheel you back to the recovery room. I woke up and didn’t realize that this blue dilator was inside me. It was totally painless!! After that stayed there for couple of hours and then left for the hotel. In there, I was instructed to continue dilating and sleep with the purple dilator which is probably equivalent to the D2.

Day 2The local anesthesia had now worn off and next day I continued with the dilation at their clinic. The support that I received was amazing! The dilation with the blue one (which is larger than the average penis) was painless. I want to underline and highlight the word painless. We then went back to the hotel around noon and tried intercourse. My husband was able to slide in and we weren’t sure whether he went it.. but then we checked visually and yes, he was in.. and this was without anesthesia and without the Botox having kicked in. We continued dilating with blue and I again slept with the purple one at night.

Day 3we didn’t have to go to clinic. However, we were strongly advised to continue dilating (even though we were practicing penetration) and which we did.


  • CONSISTENCY with DILATIONwe have been requested to send an email every night to Dr. Pacik for next 10 to 12 months.. even if it is a one liner noting our dilation and progress. This support is very helpful and feels as if he’s looking out for us. It also makes us answerable and helps us stick to the dilation schedule (which is over and above the intercourse). We’re supposed to dilate for 2 hours daily. The support is just incredible.

I would greatly advise anyone to not waste any time and try to overcome this. I feel I wish I had known about this sooner and resolved our problem. I hope it is not too late to have babies (considering my age).. fingers crossed.. but at least we’re having sex.

Also, on another note, there were two other patients at Dr. Pacik the day I was there. It was incredible to meet other women in person who are facing the same issue. Good luck to everyone out there.”

An update 30 days after overcoming:

“Came back yesterday from a 10 day vacation in North California . . . the first 5 days, I dilated religiously for 2 hours with blue (almost equivalent to D4) and we had intercourse (however no ejaculation) every two days . . . we made it a point to have intercourse before we check out of a particular hotel (so, that in our mind, we have made good use of the bed) . . . the last 4 days, when we were in Yosemite National Park.. I didn’t dilate as I was really tired after all the hiking during the day and just didn’t have the effort and we used to fall asleep soon after reaching our lodge.

However, we returned to East Coast yesterday and took a day off from office today. I dilated with blue for two hours and then we had sex . . . not just penetration!!! but SEX . . . my husband actually ejaculated inside me . . . he had tears in his eyes after he did that . . . and I was teasing him . . . that is he going to cry every time we have sex . . . it is so monumental for us . . . and the best thing was that he thrusted this time (without taking it out fully) and it wasn’t hurting me at all . . . totally painless and I was liking the rhythm . . . still can’t believe it!!!”

Commentary from Dr. Pacik

Later, I met Nancy and her husband Paul in Houston at the annual meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS, November 2011). They agreed to help me teach the two hour continuing education course on vaginismus. She was pregnant at the time. To her surprise she conceived on day two when she had unprotected intercourse.Nancy continued to do well with her pregnancy.

On leap year (February 29, 2012) I received the following note:

“Hi Dr. Pacik,

Nancy and I have been blessed with a beautiful daughter. She arrived on the morning of February 29th.

Mommy and baby are both doing great. Needless to say that you made this possible. Thanks for everything. We will call you in the next day or two when things settle down a bit.  Paul”